The quality of our professional relationships can significantly impact our job satisfaction, productivity, and overall career trajectory. It's a theme that consistently emerges in the research we've published and forms the bedrock of the second pillar in my coaching programme.
I'd like to share with you my three-step practical framework for improving key workplace relationships. Whether you're currently facing a difficult professional relationship or simply recognise the potential to strengthen existing bonds, this approach can serve as a valuable tool. It's designed to help you analyse, understand, and ultimately enhance your interactions with colleagues, superiors, or team members.
By focusing on these relationships, you're not just smoothing out day-to-day interactions. You're laying the groundwork for more effective collaboration, opening doors to new opportunities, and creating a more fulfilling work environment. Let's explore the three essential steps that can guide you towards more productive and positive workplace relationships.
Step 1: Understand Their Personality Type and preferences
The first step in improving any relationship is to gain a deeper understanding of the other person's personality. Consider typical Myers Briggs dimensions, for example:
- Are they more introverted or extroverted?
- Do they prefer big-picture thinking or detailed analysis?
- Are they planners who like structure, or do they thrive on spontaneity?
- Do they make decisions based on logic or values?
By recognising these traits, you can adapt your communication style to better resonate with them. Remember, this isn't about changing who you are, but rather about flexing your approach to create more meaningful connections.
Step 2: Assess Their Personal Development
Next, it's crucial to gauge where your colleague is in their own personal development journey. Ask yourself:
- How self-aware are they?
- Do they respond defensively to challenges, or are they open to learning?
- Are they flexible in their thinking and behaviour?
- Do they engage in and value healthy workplace relationships?
- Are their intentions generally positive and non-toxic?
Understanding these aspects helps set realistic expectations for the relationship. It's important to remember that healthy relationships can only truly flourish between individuals who are both committed to personal growth and positive interactions.
Step 3: Recognise Your Locus of Control
The final step involves clearly defining what's within your control. This is where I often encourage my clients to use the 'two circles' exercise:
1. Draw a large circle representing the entire situation or relationship.
2. Inside it, draw a smaller circle representing what's within your control.
In the context of workplace relationships, you can control:
- Reaching out proactively
- Adapting your communication style
- Managing your reactions and emotions
- Setting healthy boundaries
You cannot control:
- Their reactions or responses
- Their personality traits or preferences
- Their willingness to change or improve the relationship
By focusing on what's within your sphere of influence, you can approach the relationship with a sense of empowerment rather than frustration.
Putting It All Together
Remember, the goal isn't to transform every challenging relationship into a perfect one – that's often unrealistic. Instead, aim to create the best possible working relationship within the given circumstances.
If you've found these insights helpful, I encourage you to listen to the full podcast episode for more detailed strategies and examples.Â
​​https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-executive-coach-c-suite-career-planning-goals/id1463542602 (Apple Podcasts)Â
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OR https://open.spotify.com/show/12x8jhevqX6GtF085Nhtmt (Spotify)
And if you're keen to explore enhancing your professional relationships further, consider looking into the second pillar of my coaching programme, which focuses extensively on this crucial skill.
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