How to Prioritise When Multiple Things Genuinely Matter

We know we need to prioritise. That's not the problem. What my clients keep bringing me is something much more specific:

How do I actually prioritise when multiple things genuinely matter?

Not in theory. In practice.

This is where even very capable leaders get stuck. They're trying to move several important things forward at the same time.

Here are three Refreshing Shifts that will change how you approach prioritisation:

1. Shift from 'what matters most?' to 'what will NOT happen by default?'

When several things are genuinely important, trying to rank them is often a dead end. A better question is:

Which one of these won't happen unless I make it happen?

I was coaching a social worker who was working alongside studying.

Both mattered. But in reality, the job would get done regardless. It had structure, deadlines, accountability. The studying was the thing that slipped.

So we treated the studying as the priority. Not because it mattered more, but because it needed protecting.

I see the same thing in my own life.

Day to day work and family will happen. There are pretty immediate consequences, which matter, if not. Whereas, more speculative work or something like strength training will not. So they need to be prioritised.

For leaders, this is usually the gap. The visible, externally accountable work always gets done. The meetings, the emails, the immediate demands.

But the thinking work, the longer-term direction, the work that actually moves a team or function forward, that's the part that gets pushed out.

So that's the part that needs protecting and prioritising (and the part that we often get to unlock as Executive Coaches.)

Related: The 7 Building Blocks of Work-Life Balance for Leaders

2. Shift your zone of perfectionism

Fierce prioritisation does not look neat and tidy. Not everything will be maintained to the same standard.

And for those of you with perfectionist tendencies, that's where this becomes difficult.

So here's the shift.

I'm not asking you to stop being a perfectionist or someone with high standards, if that's how you've always been.

I'm asking you to widen your zone of perfectionism.

Most people apply perfectionism at too narrow a level. A specific project, not making mistakes, making sure everything looks tidy, or is done a certain way. This can keep you small and stuck.

In order to prioritise, try broadening this to the level of your whole life.

When you have a clear life-work vision for your longer-term direction and what you're actually trying to build, that's where perfectionism and high standards become useful.

That's where it belongs.

Apply that high standard to the overall vision. i.e. you don't just want the project to go well, you want to deliver the project whilst also having time to exercise and be present with your family. Which means ...

Related: Why high achievers get stuck: The crucial difference between capability and capacity

3. You'll know it's working when things feel slightly uncomfortable

This is the part people don't expect. You won't always feel organised when you are prioritising fiercely. You won't always feel on top of everything.

In fact, a useful signal that you are prioritising properly is that some things are slipping.

You're getting chased on a few emails. Something takes longer to finalise. A part of life looks a bit less polished than usual.

Tim Ferris calls this "racking up library fines".

It's a helpful way to think about it. These are low-level consequences. But they're a sign that your time and energy are going somewhere more important.

Because the alternative is staying responsive across everything and not actually moving anything forward.

Laura Vanderkam describes that as running a marathon on a treadmill.

You're working hard, putting in the miles, but you're not getting anywhere (p.s. I hate treadmills!)

Fierce prioritisation feels slightly uncomfortable, but it's what gets you off that treadmill.

Related: Making time work for you (not the other way around)

Key takeaways

• Ask what won't happen by default - Prioritise things that need protecting, not just what matters most

• Widen your zone of perfectionism - Apply high standards to your whole life vision, not just individual projects

• Discomfort signals progress - Some things slipping means your energy is going somewhere more important

• Low-level consequences are acceptable - "Racking up library fines" is better than running a marathon on a treadmill

Ready to get clarity on what actually needs protecting?

If you've been nodding along thinking "I'm stuck trying to prioritise too many things," you're not alone. Most capable leaders can execute well - but knowing what deserves their best energy requires a clear longer-term vision.

Work with me

Vision Unblocked - A focused 3-day no-brainer audio course for busy executives who need clarity on what's next without the time commitment of full coaching.

Vision Code - My programme that includes 1:1 coaching and a walkthrough of creating your 10 year vision, three year critical path, and one year plan.

Executive Coaching - Bespoke 1:1 coaching for C-suite leaders navigating complex career transitions, building executive presence, or preparing for board-level roles.

Listen to the podcast

🎧 I go into prioritisation in more detail in this recent episode of The Refreshing Leadership Podcast. Catch up with the series on Youtube or listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Frequently asked questions

How do I prioritise when multiple things genuinely matter?

When several things are genuinely important, trying to rank them is often a dead end. A better question is: which one of these won't happen unless I make it happen? The visible, externally accountable work always gets done. But the thinking work, the longer-term direction, the work that actually moves a team or function forward, that's the part that gets pushed out. So that's the part that needs protecting and prioritising.

What does it mean to widen your zone of perfectionism?

Most people apply perfectionism at too narrow a level - a specific project, not making mistakes, making sure everything looks tidy. This can keep you small and stuck. Instead, broaden this to the level of your whole life. When you have a clear life-work vision for your longer-term direction, that's where perfectionism becomes useful. Apply that high standard to the overall vision - you don't just want the project to go well, you want to deliver it whilst also having time to exercise and be present with your family.

Why does fierce prioritisation feel uncomfortable?

You won't always feel organised when you are prioritising fiercely. You won't always feel on top of everything. In fact, a useful signal that you are prioritising properly is that some things are slipping. You're getting chased on a few emails. Something takes longer to finalise. A part of life looks a bit less polished than usual. These are low-level consequences, but they're a sign that your time and energy are going somewhere more important.

What are "library fines" in prioritisation?

Tim Ferris calls it "racking up library fines" - low-level consequences that signal your time and energy are going somewhere more important. The alternative is staying responsive across everything and not actually moving anything forward. Laura Vanderkam describes that as running a marathon on a treadmill - you're working hard, putting in the miles, but you're not getting anywhere.

How do I know what needs protecting versus what can slip?

Look at what will happen by default versus what won't. For a social worker I coached who was working alongside studying, both mattered. But the job would get done regardless - it had structure, deadlines, accountability. The studying was the thing that slipped. So we treated the studying as the priority. Not because it mattered more, but because it needed protecting.

What if I can't tolerate the messiness of prioritising?

If you have perfectionist tendencies, fierce prioritisation feels difficult because not everything will be maintained to the same standard. The shift isn't to stop having high standards - it's to widen where you apply them. Instead of perfectionism at the project level, apply it at the vision level. When you have a clear longer-term direction, you can accept low-level messiness in service of what actually matters.

About Maya

Maya Gudka is an executive coach specialising in C-suite career progression and leadership development. She works with senior leaders in major organisations on strategic career planning, executive presence, and building sustainable influence. Maya hosts The Refreshing Leadership Podcast, which ranks in the top 2% of podcasts globally and has nearly 300 episodes exploring the challenges faced by ambitious professionals.

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